AOC Tells AOL They are SOL

Washington – Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y. told CNN Wednesday that struggling former internet giant America Online was “Shit Out of Luck” when it asked congress for an additional 16 Billion dollars to bail out the company.

According to our source inside the company AOL CEO Tim Armstrong’s initial response to all this was to scream “We’re Fucked!” at the top of his lungs while pushing off all the papers he had on his desk, but was later seen pacing the halls of congress smoking an unfiltered pall mall muttering to himself.